It's taken me a long time to start
Taking the courage to open my heart
To the possibility to love again
Someone more than just a friend
Constantly fighting a battle wits
Within myself from subtle hints
I perceive from you as we interact
Trying to sort the fantasy from the fact
I've been longing for what feels like forever
At times I feel like what I most desire will never
Materialize in this lifetime or the next
Like my very existance has been hexed
Yet I keep the hope that my time has come
When my love is returned and we become one
Why can't I find the courage to tell you
From my heart my feelings so true
If I told you how I really felt
Would it be your heart I beheld?
Or would your feelings for me change
And make our friendship estranged?
Are you hiding your feelings about me too
Just like I hide mine about you
If I knew how you felt about me
I could adjust my life accordingly
Until I know for sure, it would cut like a knife
Having to exist without you in my life
I love you so much ... I want this to be real
I wish I knew how you feel
(c) Michelle Mundling
April 2000
